At first I thought that handing the book of God’s words back to Sister Zhang would mean that my father would stop harassing me and that the tranquil life I once had would resume. In fact, things turned out just the opposite: Not only didn’t I find peace in my heart, I actually felt an inexplicable emptiness there.
I was lackluster in whatever I did, and the words of Almighty God and the hymns of God’s words kept finding their way into my head at all times of day and night. The scenes of the church leader berating me and my father and the others harassing and attacking me also kept on flashing before my eyes. I was suffering badly, and I felt as if I’d fallen into a deep abyss from which I couldn’t climb out. I couldn’t eat or sleep properly and I felt stressed out, as if my head was about to explode. In the midst of all this pain, I knelt and beseeched God: “Oh God, Creator of heavens and earth and all living things, I’m in a lot of pain and confusion. I know that Almighty God is the returned Lord Jesus, but my stature is small and whenever I think about the disruptions and attacks from my father I get too afraid to follow You, God. God, I’m stuck at a crossroads, unable to make a decision. I don’t know what to do, so please guide me and lead me….” During the prayer, for some unknown reason I suddenly started to think of these words of Almighty God: “You shouldn’t be afraid of this and that. No matter how many difficulties and dangers you face, you shall remain steady before Me; do not be obstructed by anything, so that My will can be carried out. … Be not afraid; with My support, who could ever block the road? Remember this! Remember!” (“The Tenth Utterance” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words gave me a burst of strength that was enough to change my timid heart into a steely one. Yes! With God as my shield what on earth was there to be afraid of? Since I’ve already determined that this is the true way, then I shouldn’t be restricted by any person, event, or object. I should break through the forces of darkness and follow God with an unwavering determination. As a true believer in God, if I’m not even able to admit to God’s existence when confronted with the hostile forces of Satan then what kind of a believer am I? Aren’t I just surrendering to Satan and betraying God? I then remembered how, during her fellowshiping, Sister Zhang had told me that the harassment from my family and the church leaders was all part of a spiritual battle, and that if I chose to stand with them I was falling into Satan’s cunning trap. That would mean that I’d totally lose any chance of being saved and entering the kingdom of heaven. I then thought about the spiritual suffering that I’d gone through since Sister Zhang had taken the book of God’s words back, and I felt that I couldn’t not have God in my life and that leaving God was even more painful than being abandoned by my family and my former church. So I picked up the phone and called Sister Zhang, and arranged a place to meet her so that I could get the book of God’s words back.
After that, whenever my husband was not at home I’d take the opportunity to sate my hunger by reading God’s words and singing the hymns. The more I read the words the more I enjoyed them; the more I sang the hymns, the more relaxed and at ease I felt. My original confidence was restored, and all my pain and troubles vanished like the morning mist. I felt intimately that God’s words could be life sustenance for me, and that I could do without anything except God. Three months later Sister Zhang took me to The Church of Almighty God to attend meetings.
What I didn’t expect was that my husband would find out about my attending meetings and would tell my father. One evening, I was upstairs when I suddenly heard a great commotion down in the yard. I opened the curtains and broke into a cold sweat when I saw my father and 4 or 5 of his church co-workers rushing in looking like they were ready for trouble. My heart started pounding, and I quickly knelt down and called out to God: “Almighty God, my father has brought those church guys to harass me again and I’m really afraid. Oh God, You know that my stature is small, so please give me confidence and courage….” Then these words of God came to me out of nowhere: “You must have My courage within you and you must have principles when facing relatives who do not believe. But for My sake, you must also not yield to any of the dark forces. Rely on My wisdom to walk the perfect way; do not allow the conspiracies of Satan to take hold. Put all your efforts into placing your heart before Me and I shall comfort you and give you peace and happiness in your heart” (“The Tenth Utterance” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words gave me extra confidence and courage, and I was no longer timid and afraid. I thought: “No matter how much they harass me I’m not going to fall into Satan’s trap again and be deceived by them. I was created by God. Having faith in God and following God are right and proper, and nobody has the right to interfere, not even the people closest to me.” Consequently, I was able to go downstairs and greet my father and his co-workers in a calm manner. As soon as they saw me they all started talking at once. One of the female co-workers had a look of “loving concern” on her face as she said: “Fangfang, you’re such a smart person, so how come you can’t understand how we feel. We all have your best interests at heart. Don’t be so stubborn. Hurry back to the Lord and repent, OK?” Very calmly I replied: “Sister, none of you have listened to the sermons of Eastern Lightning, neither have you read the words of Almighty God. I urge you all to investigate it properly and not just blindly condemn and resist Almighty God. All you need to do is read the words of Almighty God and then you’ll know whether or not Almighty God is the returned Lord Jesus.” She replied: “We don’t dare to read that book because the content really is too appealing. It’s so easy to get sucked into it.” I said: “It’s exactly because what Almighty God expresses are all truths and is the voice of God that it has the power to persuade people. Only God’s words have this kind of authority and power. The reason why people are attracted to God’s words is that they can understand truths and gain life sustenance from reading them. Who would leave the wellspring of living water of life after finding it?!” They had no reply to that, but just said a lot of stuff that blasphemed God and tried to scare me by saying I would be judged in hell if I didn’t “repent.” With a steely tone of voice I said: “You slandered The Church of Almighty God by saying ‘People who join Eastern Lightning never get out, or if they do escape they get their nose cut off and their eyes gouged out….’ There’s no substantial evidence for that, it’s all rumors and malicious slander! If you can’t produce factual evidence then you’re a bunch of liars who are just out to deceive people. Almighty God’s kingdom gospel has already been spread far and wide throughout China, and every household has now heard the good news. There are at least a few million members of The Church of Almighty God now. Of course, when the gospel is being transmitted there are always some people that hate the truth who don’t accept it. But have you ever seen a single one who has had their nose cut off or their eyes gouged out? If there had been even one, the media would have immediately reported it and it would have become a national sensation. My sister and I are being purposefully harassed by you lot so that we give up our belief. But we appear to be fine, don’t we? You’re telling lies in order to deceive people. Now that I believe in Almighty God I’m choosing the true path and following God’s footsteps. I’ve done nothing wrong, so I don’t have anything to repent. My faith in Almighty God will never waver, so if you don’t want to believe that’s fine, but at least don’t prevent me from believing. As for what will happen to me, whatever people say doesn’t count because the fate of every single person is in God’s hands. Only by keeping pace with God’s work and accepting God’s work of the last days will people have a good final destination. So don’t come and disturb me again.” No sooner were the words out of my mouth than my father stood up quickly and abruptly, and in an aggressive tone of voice issued this threat: “If you keep on believing in Almighty God then I’ll no longer consider you to be my daughter!”
On hearing my father’s threat to end our relationship I couldn’t help but feel a bit sad. I thought: “Almighty God’s expression of truths is actually what the Spirit says to the churches. But you don’t listen and instead listen to the rumors and lies spread by the church leaders. How could you be like them in hating me for believing in Almighty God, and even be willing to end our relationship?” The more I thought about it, the sadder I became, but then I suddenly thought of a passage of God’s words: “God created this world and brought man, a living being unto which He bestowed life, into it. In turn, man came to have parents and kin and was no longer alone. Ever since man first laid eyes on this material world, he was destined to exist within the ordination of God. It is the breath of life from God that supports each living being throughout his growth into adulthood. During this process, none believe that man lives and grows up under the care of God. Rather, they hold that man grows up under the love and care of his parents, and that his growth is governed by the instinct of life. This is because man knows not who bestowed life or from whence it came, much less how the instinct of life creates miracles” (“God Is the Source of Man’s Life” in The Word Appears in the Flesh). God’s words helped me to understand that even though my physical body came from my parents, the source of my life is God. Without God’s gift of life my body would just rot away, and the fact that I’m alive today is all down to God’s care and protection, otherwise I would long have been swallowed up by Satan. God is the source of my life, not my parents, and I can break any relationship except the one with God. My parents are not only not interested in seeking or investigating the Lord’s return, they are also 100% behind the church leaders in slandering and blaspheming God’s work and trying to force me to betray God. This proves that, in substance, they are resistant to God and that they are enemies of God, but I’m not going to become tainted by them and resist God. I’m going to stand by God’s side, and even if my parents break their relationship with me I’ll still follow God until the end. I will stand firm and bear witness for God. So I said to my father: “Dad, when it comes to faith in God, I obey God, not people, and I’m not swayed by emotions, either. If what you said matched the truth and God’s intentions then I would listen to you. But if you tell me to betray God I’ll absolutely never go through with it!” When they saw how unyielding my attitude was they all shook their heads, stood up, and left, looking dejected. At that moment, I felt that I had won a victory and I couldn’t help but praise and thank God silently: “Almighty God, You really are almighty. It was Your words that gave me confidence and courage, and brought this thorough and humiliating defeat to Satan.”
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